10 Relationship Tips That Happy Couples Follow Every Day

by | Oct 20, 2018 | Communication, Relationship Tips, Stronger Relationships

10 Relationship Tips That Happy Couples Follow Every Day

by | Oct 20, 2018 | Communication, Relationship Tips, Stronger Relationships

10 Relationship Tips That Happy Couples Follow Every Day

The Fool-Proof Guide to Creating The Relationship You Deserve

O

ne thing I know when it comes to relationships is that to make them last long-term is we need to put in the work.

We need to fill the gas tank of our relationship with effort.

Now, I know that can be hard to do when you’ve got dinners to make, diapers to change and huge assignments due at work.

But, despite all that is going on in our life, our relationship is concerned with only one thing – effort.

We need to consistently make an effort to put our best foot forward; or we risk losing the very thing we ‘do it all for’.

Now, while there is rarely a one-size-fits-all approach to relationship advice, thankfully there are practical solutions we can use to help us through the hard times and encourage the good times.

So, for all couples that need a big boost (or just a little one), here are 10 relationship tips that happy couples follow every day.

Follow these simple and easy to learn tips and I promise, you’re going to see change and improvement in your relationship right away.

 

1. It’s okay to go to bed angry.

When it comes to arguing, my wife and I sometimes need more than 10 rounds.

No matter how hard we try, sometimes we need to go to bed angry.

It can be a tall order to try and solve our argument in one go.

On some occasions, we just need more time to sort out our feelings before we can kiss and make up.

That’s okay.

So, if you’re like us and need to sleep on it, then go ahead.

If closing your eyes and catching some sleep is going to help you recharge, then have at it.

Chances are, you’ll clear your head and start the day again feeling refreshed and ready to bring an end to your fight.

2. It’s okay to take a break from talking.

This relationship tip is like tip number 1, but it’s slightly different.

My wife has come to the realization that she needs more time during our disagreements to process what has been said and how she is feeling.

I, on the other hand, need less time and want to keep talking until everything is resolved.

However, I don’t do our relationship any favours by becoming impatient with her need to think things through.

Since we’ve learned how to hit pause on a fight, (and it only took 9 years!), we’ve discovered that it is a great way to catch our breath and re-engage in a more productive way. 

3. Start dreaming together about your best hopes for your relationship.

All relationships need a destination, whether that is for the long or short-term.

Without any clue as to where you and your partner should point your noses, how will you know when you’ve arrived at your destination (in other words, your ideal relationship)?

By getting together and talking about how you would like to see your day-to-day life unfold, you create a plan for your relationship that is going to bring you closer together and, most importantly, put you and your partner on the same page.

4. Experiences are more important than gifts.

When you have the chance, give each other gifts of experiences rather than tangible items.

Material items will tarnish and deteriorate over time.

Experiences or time spent together, on the other hand, do the opposite; they appreciate over time.

I think that happiness, true happiness, comes in the form of reminiscing.

That’s why it’s incredibly helpful for couples to go out and experience more together.

Then, the memories you create together will allow you to reminisce more.

Reminisce more and you’ll smile more. I promise.

5. You don’t have to be all things to your partner, all the time.

What’s more important than trying to be everything to your partner is highlighting and accentuating all that you are to your partner.

My wife and I are best friends.

However, we’re not best friends in all areas.

We don’t share all the same connections that she does with her girlfriends or siblings.

And that’s okay.

It’s okay to differ, but when we focus on trying to be everything to our partner, we start noticing how we’re not.

We will start to see differences.

And, if there is any truism that I believe about relationships, it is that couples need to know how they are the same rather than how they are different.

So, focus on how good your connection is in the areas that you are the same.

Celebrate your sameness and you’ll soon be celebrating the long-term success of your relationship.

6. Don’t tell your friends and family everything about your relationship.

The most intimate relationship you’re ever going to have is with the person who chooses to wake up next to you every day.

Your partner is the person that shares this life with you and, believe it or not, sticks around even when they see you at your worst.

If that’s the case, then when it comes to relationship discord, don’t go outside your relationship for support – at least too much support.

You want to be careful that you don’t triangulate with an outside party because, when you do that, you start to create an allegiance or alliance with another who is not your partner.

That isn’t good for your relationship. Instead, you want to solve your relationship problems with the most important person in your life – your partner.

7. Finances matter more than you think.

A pretty simple yet effective relationship tip is to view the arguments in your relationship as heavily influenced by external stressors, such as family finances.

Stressful environments have a big impact on our relationships and so when bills are piling up or kids need tuition money, it is no surprise that our arguments and fights with our partner become worse.

When things go well financially, I bet that your relationship does well, too.

But, when the chips are down (especially financially), then it gets harder and harder to put your best foot forward.

So, put some of the blame for the degree of intensity of your arguments onto your finances and away from your partner.

It makes sense; by blaming outside stressors more and your partner less for your fight, your partner can be part of the solution rather than the problem.

8. Give your partner dirty compliments. Let your intimacy and sex life simmer.

Use the language of flirtation to build your appetite for physical intimacy with your partner.

By using that sexy language that both you and your partner speak, you’re going to smile, get excited, and look forward to some much-needed connection time – which hopefully translates into a romp in the bedroom, assuming you can get the kids down at a reasonable hour.

Spice things up by letting your love simmer and watch your connection grow.

9. Your partner’s friends and family do not need to like you.

It’s a common belief that everyone connected to our partner must love or even like us.

While having the approval of your partner’s friends and family would be nice, it isn’t necessary to build a happy, long-term relationship.

What is more important than their blessing is that they respect you.

Our partner’s friends and family are incapable of being objective; they are partial to our significant other.

They’ve likely known our partner for a very long time.

However, just because they are subjective and therefore biased, doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t respect you.

If you treat your partner well, it shouldn’t matter if you have differing values, principles, and beliefs from your partner’s friends and family.

You’re going to bring your own views into your relationship and, guess what – your partner likes those views you have.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t have married you in the first place!

So, be true to yourself, and give and command respect.

Mutual respect is more important than having you and your partner’s friends and family member’s worldviews align completely.

10. Happiness takes practice and practice takes effort.

If you want to improve your relationship, you’re going to need to put in the effort.

You’re going to have to work hard to keep your relationship going in the right direction.

I know that it’s hard to put in the effort every single day.

And that’s okay.

You can take a break.

You can regress.

But do not let your relationship slip.

Wait too long, and you’ll wake up with an unhappy partner who is lonely, sad and feels isolated.

When you take an interest in your partner, when you ask them questions and listen, and when you show affection, you’re going to keep them engaged and in the relationship.

Stop making the effort, and you’ll start to see the negative effects.

However, when you put in the effort, you’ll reap the rewards – guaranteed.

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About the Author

Jonathan Van Viegen is a full-time online couple therapist and relationship mentor helping adults and couples improve one of the most important relationships in their life – the one with their partner.

Jonathan’s approach has helped 100’s of clients struggling to maintain a lasting, loving relationship while navigating the challenges of parenting. Jonathan’s goal with this blog is to offer you a behind the scenes look at his life to show that it is possible to create the kind of relationship you desire – using simple skills that anyone can learn.

About the Author

Jonathan Van Viegen is a full-time online couple therapist and relationship mentor helping adults and couples improve one of the most important relationships in their life – the one with their partner.

Jonathan’s approach has helped 100’s of clients struggling to maintain a lasting, loving relationship while navigating the challenges of parenting. Jonathan’s goal with this blog is to offer you a behind the scenes look at his life to show that it is possible to create the kind of relationship you desire – using simple skills that anyone can learn.

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