If You Have Anger Issues, Here’s What You Need To Know
A lot of people suffer from anger issues.
And, I know what that’s like because I used to suffer from anger issues, too.
Thankfully, I’ve come a long way and I know that you can, too.
‘How?’ you are probably wondering.
Well, in all of my personal and professional experience as a psychotherapist, I know that thinking of yourself as having ‘anger issues’ is the start of what not to do.
In order to get past our issues with anger, we need to stop listening to the voices around us telling us that we are ‘angry all the time’.
Rather, we need to see ourselves as being calm, cool and collected.
Yes, that’s correct. You are calm, cool and collected.
It Won’t Help You To Think You Have Anger Issues
So, you know how I know that you are calm, cool and collected?
It’s because I know that no one is angry all day, all the time.
Instead, I know there are times when you have no issues with anger.
And, if that’s the case, how come no one is talking about you during those times?
Why are people quick to point out your mistakes, your faults, and your anger?
But, not so quick to point out all the other great things about you?
That’s because, they are contributing to the noise.
The noise that tells you that you have anger issues.
And really, what are they saying?
That you should accept it and give up?
Well, I say we need to do something different.
I say we need to see ourselves in a different light.
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The Real You
So, once you’ve checked out the video above, I want you to do yourself a favour and practice one more great strategy for managing your emotions during times of stress and emotional difficulty.
The next time you have a moment to yourself, I want you to make a list of all the qualities you most admire about yourself.
And, I want you to be as detailed as possible as you write down everything you like about yourself.
Write down everything you feel proud of. And, everything you’d like others to know about you.
No matter how small or insignificant your qualities may seem, write everything down.
Now, after you’ve done that, I’d like you to read the list over and just reflect for a moment.
Reflect on how long and extensive your list is.
Why? Because, that list holds the greatest description of who you are and what kind of person you are.
That list is the ‘real you‘. The ‘real you’ is not what others say about you, but what you say about yourself.
Now that you’ve watched the video (and done the brief ‘real you’ exercise), feel free to let me know what you think.
Leave a comment, head on over to my Instagram to DM me or send me an email.
Let me know what you do best and when you are calm, cool and collected?
What are your moments of strength when you’re holding it all together – all day and all the time?
The reason why I want to know the ‘real you’ and hear about your non-anger moments – like when you’re strong, cool and collected – is because that is the key to transformation.
If I ask you to describe to me how you handle anger or what you’re like when you’re angry, that’s just carrying on the conversation of anger.
And, trust me, you don’t need more conversations about anger.
Let’s leave that to others.
Instead, start seeing yourself as the one who handles yourself with ease, grace and effortlessness.
Because, if you can’t start seeing that, no one else will either.
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About the Author
Jonathan Van Viegen is a full-time online therapist and relationship coach helping adults and couples improve one of the most important relationships in their life – the one with their partner. Jonathan’s approach has helped 100’s of clients struggling to maintain a lasting, loving relationship while navigating the challenges of parenting. Jonathan’s goal with this blog is to offer you a behind the scenes look at his life to show that it is possible to create the kind of relationship you desire – using simple skills that anyone can learn.