Last week I dropped a reel on the 6 questions that’ll do more for your s*x life than the little blue pill.
I only had space to give you three.
But so many people showed up, commented, and asked for the rest…
So here they are.
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Quick recap of the first three:
1. “How can I help you get what you want?”
Removes threat. Restores likeability. Positions you as teammate, not defendant.
2. “What do you want more of from me right now?”
Shifts the conversation from deficiency to desire. Curiosity invites attraction.
3. “How did I hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally?”
The perfect apology entry point. Ends back-and-forth battles instantly.
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Now here’s the final three.
These go deeper. They move past the mental and into the nervous system. This is where resistance softens and intimacy actually becomes possible again.
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4. “What would help you feel safer with me right now?”
This isn’t an emotional question – it’s a nervous-system-level one.
Here’s the truth most couples miss:
- Safety precedes trust
- Trust precedes intimacy
- Intimacy never grows under threat
Safety isn’t a feeling. It’s a signal.
This question invites your partner to co-regulate with you, not justify their walls.
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5. “What are you afraid will happen if you let your guard down with me?”
This is where resistance softens.
It reframes withdrawal as self-protection, not rejection.
It removes moral judgment.
It invites vulnerability without demand.
When you ask this, you stop hearing “They don’t want me” and start understanding “They’re protecting something tender.”
That shift alone restores compassion.
And compassion is the gateway back to desire.
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6: “What would it look like if we were on the same team here?”
This is your anti-scorekeeping question.
It dissolves power struggles.
It reframes conflict as shared problem-solving.
It restores partnership over polarity.
Couples don’t need better arguments.
They need better alignment.
And this question creates alignment in real time.
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The bottom line:
Connection lives on the highest plane of human existence: the spiritual one.
Below that is the mental.
The physical comes last.
If you want to get to the bottom, you have to start at the top.
And these six questions, asked in order, can rebuild that connection.