From:
Jonathan Van Viegen
My surf lodge office, Playa Venao, Panama
Monday, April 6, 2026
Dear Friend,
I’m going to say something that might save your marriage.
The “grass is greener” mindset has destroyed more relationships than I care to count.
And it’s really hard to watch.
After 17 years of marriage…
and helping thousands of couples fight for theirs…
I can tell you exactly how this plays out.
Someone marries a good one.
A stable one.
A safe one.
The person who makes them laugh.
And then one day, they wake up and think:
“I’m missing something.”
“I don’t feel the spark anymore.”
“I’m not sure I’m happy here.”
And that’s the moment everything starts going sideways (and fast).
What no one tells you is that the “more” they’re chasing, doesn’t exist.
At least not the way they think it does.
Last time I checked, novelty fades in every relationship.
The spark you feel with someone new?
It’s usually gone in months (if not weeks). It fades there too.
So, if someone trades familiar love for unfamiliar uncertainty, that’s not growth.
It’s at best avoidance… at worst, delusion.
The grass isn’t greener on the other side.
It’s greener where you water it.
And the partner someone’s thinking about leaving?
There’s a good chance they’d have been willing to water it with their partner this whole time.
And their commitment isn’t common.
In fact, it’s rare.
So, to the person who gets left even when they’re committed to making it work, I’d say this:
You’re not the problem.
You’re the kind of person people spend their entire lives searching for.
