From:
Jonathan Van Viegen
Athanasiou Cafe, Panama City, Panama
Monday, June 15, 2026
Dear Friend,
This is how quickly it can turn your life around.
A few months ago, a man in my Chosen & Cherished Club sent me a message.
He told me he had moved out because the marriage had become toxic. There was trauma there, the resentment ran really deep, and neither of them saw a way through it.
But then he found my DIY program, he and his wife started it, and something magical happened: after a few weeks, his wife asked him to move back in.
And he sent me a message, crediting this unexpected 180 to what they’d learned in the program, and thanking me for saving his marriage.
I hesitate to take that much credit because, as any therapist will tell you, it’s the client who has to actually do the work.
But I can’t lie: it definitely brings me joy and fuels my heavy workload when I hear stories like this.
But one thing he said in particular really stood out to me, because it confirmed so perfectly the mistake I see couples – and other therapists – make, time and time again…
And that’s the impulse that they need space in order to figure things out.
But space is usually just the first slip down what becomes a very slippery slope to the end of a relationship.
As he put it, “I think the ‘moving out’ space almost destroyed our marriage and any hope…I think if we had heard of you prior to me moving out it might have not happened. I think for repair it’s important that I am home.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, hits the nail on the head.
You don’t need space in order to figure things out or make it better.
So many couples assume that some space and distance will bring them clarity.
And sure, occasionally it does.
But more often than not, it just makes things worse, and the relationship gets harder to repair.
What you actually need is a different S-word: safety.
You need to feel safe enough to tell the truth. To be vulnerable.
To set aside resentment for a few minutes, drop the defenses, and start connecting.
Only by starting with that connection can you truly work on repair.
Now, some couples are really great at self-study, and some save their relationship just from watching my reels.
But if you’re having trouble doing that on your own, then it might be time to see how I can help.
The best place to start is with a Clarity Call. I’ll take a few minutes to understand what’s going on for you, and help you identify the biggest obstacles standing between you and the marriage you want.
Then, if I believe I can help, I’ll show you what that path could look like.
These calls are best suited for couples who are serious about repair, willing to look at their own role in the problem, and ready to stop repeating the same conversations over and over again.
If that sounds like you, click here to book a Clarity Call.
I’d love to help you create a marriage where you both feel chosen and cherished.
In strength & solutions,
– Jonathan
aka “Mr. Chosen & Cherished”
